Hi everyone! I have a bit of an interesting post for you today. Recently I experienced something I never have before that caused me to think A LOT and turn to those close to me for guidance. After all the advice I received and ultimately making a decision, I really want to share some thoughts with you guys in hopes that it will help any one of you.
My entire life I was taught to give everything my absolute all and be committed to whatever I do. I’ve tried to do this everyday whether that be with school, family, friends, or work. However recently there was a turn of events. I committed to something that simply was not right for me. Not to say I didn’t put my whole heart into it, because I did. But every day I spent time at this company, I felt like a complete outcast and in an environment that was just so opposite of me. Initially I thought it would be a good fit for me because it had some benefits I need in my life at this moment. However I knew it was something I was taking just because it was available, not because I had genuine interest in it. It ended up bringing a lot of problems for me, including driving me to absolute exhaustion and not having enough energy to do my homework. I was not able to have the flexibility in hours that they needed because of school, which is my main focus right now especially since it’s my last year in college. Not to mention, I didn’t post on this blog for a couple of weeks, which was pretty upsetting for me since I have really been trying to focus on consistency.
This problem turned in my mind every single day. Although there were a couple benefits that I needed, there were so many problems that were creating unneeded stress in my life. I’m the kind of person that when I have a problem or have to choose between yes or no, I cannot let go of it. And that’s something I’m trying to work on because it puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on me. I suppose that comes with my history of dealing with anxiety. I obsess over choosing the right path, even though there’s no way I could possibly know which one that is. I felt a lot of guilt since many people in this country would love to take my place and earn a small income. I felt like such a quitter for wanting to leave something after such a short time. It wasn’t something that usually happens to me and I didn’t want to give up so quickly. After feeling this way for weeks, I ended up talking a lot with my family and closest friends. I’m super glad I did this; they made me feel extremely better about the whole situation and now I get to share some advice with you all, and I truly hope it helps because it really did impact me.
Every time I asked for advice about this, I was told: Do what’s best for you. Your happiness matters most, there’s no need to be miserable if you can change it. Take control of your own life and make it what you want it to be. This was something I really needed to hear because in everything I do, I worry about other people. I want to give everything my absolute all to make others happy. Which to some degree, it’s important to do that. But when you’re compromising your own happiness, it simply is not worth it anymore. In the end, I resigned from my position with the company and have felt very good about my decision. If you are involved in something and at the end of the day you are just dreading going back, you probably are not doing the right thing for yourself. Now don’t think I’m telling you to just quit everything that doesn’t make you happy, because that’s definitely not the case. But if you know if your heart that what you’re doing isn’t getting you anywhere and you’re flat out hating your time there, find something else. There’s so many other options and you know you could be filling your time with something productive that will enhance your future.
Initially, I was very scared to end things. I had no idea what the right thing to do was. But talking to others really did make it okay for me. In my situation, every single person I talked to told me it was okay. And really, that’s all I needed to hear. That it was okay and I was NOT a quitter. At first, that’s exactly what I felt like, but looking back now I definitely was not. I was in something that was not right for me and bringing me a lot of unhappiness. And now, I have so much time for school, designing, and this blog! I couldn’t be happier with my decision and it’s really taught me to make better use of my time. Before, I felt extremely lonely having too much time to myself, but I’m welcoming that a lot more now. More time equals productivity in the things I truly love. And I feel blessed to be in a position where I can take full advantage of that. So I hope you enjoyed this little rant and there’s just a few thoughts I really want you guys to take away from this:
- You are not a quitter if you leave something that makes you miserable. You are not giving up by choosing to spend your time practicing your passions and working towards your future career.
- Take advice from those that love you. No one wants to see someone unhappy, and it’s not fair to deal with difficult decisions all on your own and build up inner turmoil.
- Don’t waste your time. Once you have time on your hands, take full advantage to create new things and develop new ideas. Who knows when you’ll have all this time again in your life to fill with everything you enjoy.
- Embrace the unknown! Take a leap once in a while even though you don’t know the outcome, because it could benefit you in the future. Whether that’s tomorrow or ten years from now.
So I hope you guys enjoyed this post and took something from it. Have you guys ever been in a situation like this where you just didn’t know what to do? It was rough in the moment, but I think I made it out pretty well. Write your experiences in the comments or if you have any other helpful advice, I’d really love to hear it! Have a lovely rest of your day and talk to you soon! xx