Hey loves! Interesting topic for you guys today: being single in 2018. It’s something I don’t talk about too often for a multitude of reasons, but a topic I want to touch upon today. I’ve been single for about a year and a half now and it’s definitely come with its ups and downs. At the beginning there was lots of uncertainty and feeling uncomfortable and trying to just “do me” again. However, a lot of clarity and growth has come out of it and I’m not in that uncomfortable place anymore. I want to talk about this because I know tons of people who hate to be alone, but I want to give you a few reasons why it’s completely beneficial and why it’s making me even more excited for my future! It can be completely lonely, but only if you allow it to be so.
A Quick Synopsis of My Past
This is something I don’t want to get super into detail about, but it might be necessary to explain how I got where I am now. I started dating my best friend in high school. I was 17 and he treated me very well. Very, very long story short, we dated for three and a half years mostly long distance because we went to schools on opposite sides of the country. Things ended up not working out which I won’t get into out of respect for him and his privacy. It was a major shift in my life and I won’t lie, it was extremely hard for a long time. I had good days and some not so good days when all I wanted to do was cry. Through this year and a half, I’ve learned quite a bit and that’s the main focus of this blog post.
Maybe There’s a Reason
I remember having days in my old apartment when I was just straight up lonely. Sometimes it would physically hurt my heart and I didn’t know that was possible. It wasn’t fun guys, but slowly I had less and less of those days. I would dive right into my schoolwork, especially when it came to my Graphic Design portfolio. I tried to say yes to as may things as possible and actually started going out here and there with my friends. I loved exploring San Diego, but the whole “going out” scene was a bit hard for me since I actually don’t drink very often and it honestly isn’t my thing (but that’s just me). Graduation rolled around and I was so, so happy. I was excited for this new chapter and for what was to come. My days of course kept getting better and I was becoming more comfortable with this single life. One thing that helped me through the rough days and what got me to a more comfortable point was talking a lot to my parents and friends about how I was feeling. You can’t hold those types of feelings in and not expect them to coming pouring out some time in the future. Those kinds of conversations helped me realize that maybe there’s a reason for being single and maybe there’s tons of good that can come from it!
Season of Waiting
Here’s how I see it now, after all the lonely days and thinking I might be alone forever (yes, overdramatic I know but bear with me): I want to be prepared for whoever comes into my life. I want to be completely strong mentally, physically, in my career, and in what I love to do. Molding myself into the best version I can possibly be has been my goal when it comes to relationships. Not only for my future boyfriend or husband but for myself as well. I don’t want to be an unsure, sad person when I meet the one. How can I expect a strong, confident, committed person if I can’t reflect that back to them? The more I dive into blogging, making videos, photography, editing, and everything I’m passionate about, the more I feel like myself. The stronger you are in what you love, the more you’ll be ready when that day comes. You’ll know exactly who you are and what you want in a significant other. So what have I been doing in this season of waiting? Chasing what I love and preparing the best version of myself for whoever comes along. Plus, who know what the future will bring! That’s pretty exciting to me!
I Was Born in the Wrong Generation
To be super honest with you guys, one thing I haven’t been doing a lot of is dating around. I think the major reason for this (aside from working a lot and being so incredibly focused on blogging/social media) is I’m very old fashioned. Yes, I tried the whole online dating thing for a hot minute and realized it definitely wasn’t for me. There are so many modern ways of getting dates nowadays but none of them really fit in with what I want. Was I born in the wrong generation? Maybe I was meant to be in the 20’s when men actively pursued women and courted them. Is courting still a thing? I’m not so sure anymore. Call me a grandma but there’s nothing I love more than a man holding the door open for a woman or bringing her flowers. Not because he has to or because it’s some gender stereotype, but because he WANTS TO. I’ve been hearing this phrase a lot lately: we live in a generation where people don’t want relationships. Hookup culture is stronger than ever but where exactly does that lead? What about getting to know someone and allowing a good thing to build over time?
I’d love for this post to start a conversation in the comments! Let’s have a dialogue about singleness in 2018 and where you stand on the topic. I’m just scratching the surface in this post, so I’ll be replying to comments. Leave any questions you may have as well! Talk to you all soon!